Life Shouldn't Be A Fuckin' Grind

I will never be a poker pro, but my lifetime poker ledger is positive and I think that's something to be proud of.

Monday, December 15, 2008

The Bleeding Continue

I continue to bleed money out of my account. This week's big leaks were an ill-advised foray into NL cash where I dropped 2 buy-ins at $25 NL and of course, .5/1 full ring LHE. I think I'm done with full ring for a while. If I ever want to make the jump to being able to beat anything but micro limits, I have to get good at shorthanded, so I'm just gonna play a ton of .25/.50. At that limit, it could take many months to build to where I have at least 500 BB at .5/1 and many more months to get to 1/2, but eventually I can probably do it and in reality, I have nothing but time. I'm in the Air Force for at least the next 4 years anyway so poker is kind of irrelevant in terms of being a money maker for me.

I did have a nice short 200 hand +25 BB session 3-tabling .25/.50 6-max tonight and it helped my confidence a little. I do think that I'm capable of getting there and I am going to get the stoxtrader book after Christmas and get a HUD for my online play sometime after the New Year as well. Maybe by the end of 2009 I can get to 2/4 or something. If I'm honest with myself though, I don't think that I have the temperment to ever be successful enough to play for a living. I can't really handle the swings. I get angry when I lose a pot that I think I should have won and while I continue to work on my tilt problem, I doubt that I will ever be strong enough to handle playing for a living. But, I will continue to play and try to better my game because I need the challenge. I need to challenge myself to get better at something that I enjoy doing, and I'm going to continue to push myself to get better. Maybe someday I can play LHE pretty high, both live and online, but I highly doubt it will ever be my living.

Finally, I mentioned earlier that I lit 50 bucks on fire playing NL cash this week. It was a costly lesson, but it made me realize why I don't play NL cash. I know that NL has a ton of potential for profit. I know that there is a lot of intricacy involved in the game, but I'm not very good at it and I have very little desire to get better because the game is very boring to me. Somebody once said that NL is hours of boredom and moments of sheer terror. I can't take the boredom and I'm just not patient enough to play NL well. In my session this week, I stacked off horribly in a really bad spot with AQo. I also lost money in a couple of other really bad spots. I'm not good at NL cash and I don't enjoy it. Maybe someday I'll try to get better, but I just don't think that I'll ever have the patience to play it well.

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