I'm Done

I'm done playing serious poker, at least for a while. I probably played higher than I should have tonight seeing as how my bankroll was already decimated, I know I went on tilt and hurt myself even worse and for the umpteenth time this month I also ran like crap. I cashed out $200 and left myself with about $160 spread almost equally between FullTilt and Stars. If I lose that, I'm not re-depositing until I've got a stable job making plenty of money and can afford to throw money away. Obviously, I can no longer assume that I can make money on the side from poker.

It was fun and profitable while it lasted. I'd guess that I've cashed out somewhere in the neighborhood of $4000-$4500 from poker since I started playing online almost two years ago now. I guess that's pretty good for a hobby and it's come in handy when I've needed it. I've also made some money playing live...I'd guess I've spent like $1k or so, but I don't really know for sure. I went live game broke last weekend and I really can't play again now until I've got $150 that I can afford to lose if a 3/6 game doesn't go well.

I simply can't handle playing poker for money, at least not at this stage of my life. I can't handle losing. I put way too much pressure on myself, I go on tilt way too easily and losing hurts me way too much. This month I've dropped over $1k online. That really hurts, for the first time it feels like real money to me and I keep thinking about what I could do with that money. For these reasons, I'm done.

I hope that the little money I left online will allow me to play a few cheap tourneys, SnGs and cash games. Maybe over time I'll be able to rebuild it and play for meaningful stakes again, but for now it's best that I stop taking poker so seriously. This will likely be my last blog, at least for a good long while. Good luck to any readers I might have. I wish all of you the best, it just wasn't for me.