Life Shouldn't Be A Fuckin' Grind

I will never be a poker pro, but my lifetime poker ledger is positive and I think that's something to be proud of.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

A possible major leak

I think I've realized what one of my biggest weaknesses may be. I have a very hard time quitting sometimes. If I've been having a bad poker day or a bad session, I can't seem to accept a small gain, or a small loss sometimes and just walk. For instance, I'll be playing a tough session of limit and after a long time I'll finally grind back to where I'm about even. Then, I'll proceed to drop back down again, because I can't just take my beating, when I've played plenty of hands anyway and walk away for a while. Or, I'll be playing NL cash like I was today and I managed to about double my buy-in, then I proceeded to play to long and lose it all. I need to start working on putting better constraints on myself.

So, from now on, I will set an hour or hand limit at the beginning of every cash session and unless I'm running really well and the game is exceptionally soft, I will stop and at least take a break at the time I've set. Further, if I'm playing NL cash on FullTilt and I double my buy-in, I'm definitely done, again unless I'm running really well and playing really well. I think the biggest trouble in the NL game though may be that I'm having trouble recognizing when I'm not playing optimally or am no longer a favorite for some reason and should quit. For instance, I'll get bored with winning small pots here and there and trying to steadily grind up a little and I'll go for the big all-in strike and ending up donking off $20 chunks of chips. This is a big problem. I think this lack of a defined endpoint is one of the big reasons I've always liked Tourneys and SnGs so much (SnGs especially), because there is an endpoint and a goal to shoot for. I've always been goal-oriented and competitive, so having this helps. I just wish I could get better at MTTs. I just can't figure out whether I'm making too many mistakes, or if I just haven't played enough to even out the variance yet. I would guess it's some combo of the two, but it's really frustrating, and I really hope that I can make a big breakthrough soon.

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